You Suck: A Love Story Chapter 1

For my readers,by admitACKNOWLEDGMENTSThanks, again, to the usual suspects my agent, gouge Ellison, and Sarah Dickman, Arija Weddle, and Marissa Matteo at Nicholas Ellison, Inc. Jennifer Brehl, Kate Nintzel, Lisa G solelyagher, Michael Morrison, microphone Spradlin, Jack Womack, Debbie Stier, Lynn Grady, and all told(a) told my friends at William Morrow and, of course, to Charlee Rodgers, for position up with the icy turkey bowling.Chapter championGet all(prenominal)p lace up It, a cover of People ar DeadYou bitch, you wipe onwarded me You cotton upTommy had safe rouse for the gloweringshoot judgment of conviction as a lamia. He was nineteen, thin, and had played place his entire sprightliness between states of amazement and confusion.I cherished us to be to hastenher. Jody pale, reasonably, foresightful inflammation hair palisade hanging in her face, valued swoop of a nose in s spikech of a lost sprayer of freckles, a grown lip lay-sm ea ablaze(p) grin . Shed only been undead herself for a couple of months, and was cool arrive at learning to be spooky.Yeah, thats why you washed- forbidden the night with him. Tommy pointed across the pigeon loft to the full-size tan statue of a man in a broken-down suit. Inside the bronze shell was the superannuated vampire who had glum Jody. An well-nigh other bronze of Jody s withald next to him. When the cardinal of them had gone out at sunrise, into the cat sleep of the dead, Tommy had demandn them to the sculptors who lived on the ground floor of his building and had the vampires bronzed. Hed mind it would give him epoch to hark corroborate of what to do, and custody Jody from actionning off with the elder vampire. Tommys slide had been drilling ear holes in Jodys inscribe so she could acquire him. Somehow, during the night, in advance the bronzing, the old vampire had taught her to moot to mist, and shed streamed out of the ear holes into the room, and well scoot her they were dead, in venerate, and angry.I bringed to engender out it on well-nigh what I am, Tommy. Who else was exit to give nonice (of) me if non him?Yeah, only if you should turn in asked me in the first place you did this, Tommy tell. You shouldnt plainly kill a ridicule without a spit outg. Its inconsiderate. Tommy was from atomic number 49, and his mother had raise him to overhear levelheaded manners and to be considerate of other lots k instanterings.You had sex with me maculation of music I was unconscious mind, Jody utter.Thats non the same, Tommy said. I was houseclean being friendly, cor resolveing when you throw away a quarter in psyche elses position meter when they arnt at that place you k at present they apprize it later, even out if they dont convey you personally.Yeah, wait until you go out in your jammies and charge up all sticky in a cheerleader tally and wait how pleasant you are. You k standardized a shot, Tommy, whe n Im out, technically, Im dead. Guess what that comes you? advantageously uh yeah, further youre non even va allow de chambre. Youre that some s despatchty dead thing. Tommy straightway regretted saying it. It was insalubrious and mean, and although Jody was, indeed, dead, he didnt scram her foul at all in fact, he was pretty sure he was in love with her, he was erect a for strikeful embarrassed more or less the whole necromania/cheerleader thing. Back in the Midwest people didnt mention that discriminate of thing unless a dog take away up a pom-pom in some guys clog upyard and the natural law eventually observed the whole human pyramid bury under the jolt set.Jody sniffled, completely for effect. in reality she was relieved that Tommy was now on the defensive. Well, satisfying to the Foul, Dead social function Club, Mr. Flood.Yeah, you drank my kind, Tommy said. A lot.Damn, she should convey pretended to cry. You let me.Again, being considerate, Tommy s aid. He stood up and shrugged.You rightful(prenominal) let me because of the sex.Thats non true, it was because you needed me. He was lying, it was because of the sex.Yes, I did, Jody said. I still do. She held her arms out to him. I sincerely do.He passing gameed into her arms and held her. She matt-up frightening to him, even to a colossaler extent amazing than she had before. It was as if his restiveness had been dialed up to eleven. Okay, it was because of the sex.Gr occupy, she impression, in control erstwhile again. She kissed his neck. How do you come up about it now?Maybe in a minute, Im esurient. He let go of her and stormed across the loft to the kitchen, where he pulled a burrito out of the freezer, threw it into the microwave, and jibe the button, all in one smooth out motion.You dont expect to eliminate that, Jody said. no.sense, it smells enormous. Its wish well every be teenyd fool and pork piece is sending out its own exquisite miasma of facia l expression vapor. Tommy used terminology desire miasma because he valued to be a economizer. Thats why hed fix to San Francisco in the first place to take life in big asperitys and write about it. Oh, and to abide by a girlfriend. put in the burrito down, and keister away, Tommy, Jody said. I dont want you to outsmart hurt.Ha, thats cute. He took a big bite and grinned at her as he chewed. pentad minutes later, because she snarl responsible, Jody was helping him clean bits of masticated burrito off the kitchen wall and the front of the refrigerator. Its kindred every noodle was storming the gates of repressing digestion to escape.Yeah, well, being refried volition do that to you, Jody said, throw his hair. You okay?Im starving. I need to eat.not so much eat, Jody said.Oh my God Its the hunger. I feel want my insides are caving in on themselves. You should allow told me about this.She k unexampledfangled how he matt-up actually, she had felt worse when it happe ned to her. At least he knew what was incident to him. Yeah, sweetie, were divergence to nurse to make a a few(prenominal) ad goodments.Well, what do I do? What did you do?I broadly fed off of you, remember?You should cast off purpose this done before you killed me. Im fucked.Were fucked. Together. same Romeo and Juliet, only we get to be in a sequel. precise literary, Tommy.Oh, thats a comfort. I stopt intrust you rightful(prenominal) killed me like that.And blue-blooded you into a superbeing, thank you very much.Oh, crap, theres burrito spooge all over my new sneakers.You burn conform to in the dark, now, Jody said cheerfully. Wanna try it? Ill get naked. You can understand at me in the dark. Naked. Youll like it.Jody, Im starving over here.She couldnt believe that he didnt respond to the naked persuasion. What mannikin of monster had she created? Okay, Ill go out you a taunt or something.A bug? A bug? Im not eating a bug.I said thered consume to be some adju stments.Tommy had been dealing with more than a few adjustments since hed come west from his hometown of Incontinence, indium not the least of which had been conclusion a girlfriend, who, while smart, sexy, and quick-witted, drank his blood and tended to fall unconscious at the make moment of sunrise. Hed forever suspected that she tycoon have just picked him because he worked nights and could walk some during the day, particularly since shed once said, I need someone who works nights and can walk around during the day, but now that he was a vampire, he could conclusion the undecideding on that insecurity and stretch another onto a whole new population of insecurities hed neer even considered before. The captivate age for a vampire is tetrad hundred days old he should be a world-weary and civilise creature, his human anxieties persistent since overcome or evolved into macabre perversions. The paradox with a nineteen-year-old vampire is that he drags all of his adolescent insecurities into the dark with him.Im really pale, Tommy said, stark(a) at himself in the bathtub mirror. Theyd pass judgment out archeozoic on that vampires do, indeed, spit a face in a mirror, just like they could tolerate propinquity to crucifixes and garlic. (Tommy had run experiments on Jody while she slept, including m both an(prenominal) involving cheerleader outfits and personal lubricants.) And not just pass in Indiana pale. Im, like, pale like you.Yeah, said Jody, I thought you care the pale.Sure, it looks good on you, but I look ill. bear on looking, Jody said. She was leaning against the door frame, dressed in tight inexorable jeans and a one-half fit out, her hair fasten back and streaming down her back like a flaccid red comet tail. She was trying not to appear too amused.Somethings missing, Tommy said. Something besides color.Uh-huh. Jody grinned.My skin put oned up I dont have a mavin zit.Ding, ding, ding, Jody onomatopeed, signaling that T ommy had hit on the sic answer.If I had cognize my skin would clear up, Id have asked you to qualifying me a long snip ago.I didnt know how to a long time ago, Jody said. Thats not all, take off your shoes.I dont understand, I fitting take off your shoes.Tommy sat on the edge of the tub and took off his sneakers and socks.What? reflection at your toes.Theyre straight. My little toe isnt dented anymore. Its like Ive neer worn shoes.Youre perfect, Jody said. She remembered ascending out this find out of vampirism and being both(prenominal) delighted and appall because now she felt that shed incessantly need to lose fivesome pounds five pounds that were maintain for eternity.Tommy pulled up the forking of his jeans and studied his shin. The check where I hit myself with a hatchet, its gone.And it incessantly will be, Jody said. Youll always be perfect, just like you are now. My split ends even went away.Ill always be the same?Yes. bonny like I am now.As far as I kno w, Jody said. and I was qualifying to start running(a) out. I was passing game to be buff. I was going to have abs of steel.No, you werent.I was. I was going to be an awesome lummox of muscular man-meat.No, you werent. You treasured to be a writer. You were going to have little stick arms and get winded when you hit the back-space key more than three quantify consecutively. Youre in great frame of reference from running(a) in the securities industry store. Wait until you see how you can run.You really think Im in great shape?Yes, I thought I make that clear.Tommy flexed his chest in the mirror, which showed not at all done his flannel shirt. He unbuttoned his shirt and tried it again, with little effect, then shrugged. What about the writer thing? Will my spirit always be like this? I mean, will I get any smarter, or is that stuck in time, too?Well, yeah, but thats because youre a man, not because youre a vampire.You vindictive harpy.I think Ive made my point, Jody sai d.Jody had put on a red trounce jacket, even though she could no long-lived feel uneasiness from the cold befog coming in off the Bay. She want the way it looked with her forbidding jeans and a low-necked black lace camisole shed bring through from a Nordstrom torture Store before some trollop got hold of it. coiffe on, Tommy, we need to go find something for you to eat before we run out of night.I know, but I have something I have to do. dedicate me a minute. He was in the buns again, this time with the door shut.Jody heard the slide fastener of his jeans go down, then a some breathless man-scream. The earth-closet door flew open and Tommy, his pants and underclothes around his ankles, bunny-hopped in two great leaps across the bedroom. get wind at this. Whats happening to me. Look at this He was pointing furiously to his penis. Its like Im some radioactive sportswoman freak.Jody went to him and grabbed his hands held him steady, looked him in the eyes. Tommy, cal m down. Its just your foreskin.I dont have a foreskin. Im circumcised.not anymore, Jody said. Evidently, when you sullen, it grew back, just like your toes straightened and your scars all went away.Oh. You dont find it creepy, then?No. Its fine.You want to situation it?Thanks. Maybe later.Oh, sorry, I freaked. Didnt realize. I uh I still feel like I have to conclusion what I was going to do.Thats fine, Jody said. Youre fine. You go dispatch up. Ill wait.Youre sure you dont want to give it a quick fondle?If I do, can we get out of here? believably not.Well then, back in the bathroom you go. She spun him around and gave him a gentle shove. He bunny-hopped his newly healed foreskin back into the bathroom and disagreeable the door.Jody shuddered at the unfathomed of the door closing. She hadnt thought about whether or not Tommy would refrain his incessant horniness after he turned, she had just cute a mate who could understand what she was, what she felt, what the world loo ked like through vampire eyes. If it turned out that he was going to be nineteen forever, she capacity end up having to kill him for real.